(Picture Credit - NASA (Apollo 17))
The United Nations Earth Space-Timeship Leeds was
back in normal space. Well, relatively normal. Co-pilot Pete Smith frowned and
scratched his head.
Pete: “We’re still about 900 light years from home,
Dave.”
Dave Smethurst (Pilot): “Time?”
Pete: “Early twenty first century.”
Dave: “Not bad. We’re getting there.”
Pete: “Hey, she’s jumped us to another nice planet!”
Last time they’d “jumped” the two explorers had
landed on an extremely distant paradise world called Verduna. Now they found
themselves looking at yet another beautiful blue world. To be fair the ship’s
computer was programmed to seek out such planets, but still, they felt very
lucky. Especially as that computer was clearly faulty. Excitedly they headed for
that planet.
Pete: “Cities!”
After a brief discussion they chose a city and flew
down to it. Bearing in mind their recent encounter with hostile aliens on
Verduna, they “cloaked” the ship long before they entered the atmosphere.
Soon they landed in a small park. Eagerly they
donned casual, civilian clothes. Fingers crossed they would merge in here okay.
Universal Translators were clipped on. All ready, they clambered to the ground,
and made their way out of the park.
Dave: “Bloody hell! It’s a good, old-fashioned high
street!”
Pete and Dave had visited our 21st
Century only a few weeks ago, for about a month. They had settled in quite
easily and were very familiar with such an environment. This place was quite
busy.
Pete: “They’re just like us!”
Dave: “Funny ears, look. Not sure about the hair
either.”
Pete: “Superficial my dear boy.”
Dave: “Look at those bloody cars! Talk about
coincidence.”
They paused at a great glass window and looked in.
Dave: “Frack me, it’s a MacDonald’s!”
Pete: “Could be a KFC or Burger King...”
Dave: “Point taken. Looks to me that human evolution
is almost inevitable on these planets. And fast-food joints!”
Pete: “Well, I suppose we’re all made of hydrogen,
carbon...all the same Chemistry Set.”
Dave: “Still uncanny though. Look, he’s walking some
sort of dog.”
Pete: “And he’s a she! I think.”
Suddenly there was a loud commotion just down the
street. Outside what was clearly a pub, some of the locals had started a fight!
Pete: “God, it is home from home!”
In the distance a siren had wailed to life.
Dave: “Better make ourselves scarce, Pete.”
So they backed away from the trouble-scene. Then
they found gold: an internet cafe! They easily hacked into a computer there.
Sure enough, their internet was just like ours had been in the 21st
century. They soon found that this planet was run by a handful of super powers,
just like ours had been.
Pete: “Hey Dave, wonder if these people have reached
the same level as us now?”
Dave: “Very likely. Only one way to find out.”
So they agreed to return to the ship. They carried
out further repairs and adjustments to the navigation system. Then they tried a
jump in time only, back to their “present”.
Pete: “It’s worked.”
Warning sirens shook the ship from stem to stern.
Dave switched them off. They looked out. In horror. “The Leeds” was surrounded,
quite evidently, by a post-apocalyptic landscape: ruins everywhere under a
darkling sky. The ship microphones picked up a howling wind as a massive snow
storm lashed their landing site. Their instruments showed a toxic, acid-laden
atmosphere backed by very high levels of radiation.
Dave: “Let’s get outta here!”
Immediately they took off and entered a standard
parking orbit. Sure enough, scanners confirmed their fears: the whole planet
was devastated. It was very clear what had transpired.
Dave: “That city is on a new latitude! They must
have tilted the whole bloody planet, the idiots!”
Pete: “Oh well, you can’t win ’em all.”
Dave: “Let’s go home.”
As the ship went into hyper time-space, Dave got to
thinking. Can’t win them all? I wonder…
Paul
Butters
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