(Picture Credit - Starship Troopers Header by freakinrobot dot com)
In
"Campus" my friends and I suddenly found ourselves on a mystery
campus learning a lively curriculum. Then we found we were on the moon of an
unknown gas giant planet. Could anything stranger happen? Well of course…
OMG.
Here we go again!
I awake on a bunk-bed, somewhere amongst rows and rows
of bunk-beds. This vast dormitory is well-lit by electric lighting, but there
are no windows.
Where
the hell are we?
Alarms are sounding. Lots of moans and groans
everywhere. It is clear that many people are being awakened at once.
Last night I went to sleep in my room, in the
residential hall, just as I had for months. It had been a great shock for some
of my friends and I to find ourselves on some mysterious campus on the remote
moon of an unknown gas giant planet. But we had adapted. We had cooperated with
our “student guides” and got stuck into some deep study. When they asked us to
go through regular “assault courses” like army cadets we had accepted the
challenge.
But now, just as we are accustomed to campus life, I
find myself here!
“Get up all of you!” shouts someone loudly.
I’m wearing some sort of thick suit! It whirrs
mechanically, exaggerating all my movements.
“Grab your helmets! The Captain is waiting to Brief
you all! Head for the door! Come on you idle lot!” continues that voice.
Once out of the bunk I see the main door, a long way
down the aisle. I am glad to see all my friends too, even though they are wearing
the same cumbersome-looking armoured-suits.
Presently The Captain stands before us all, in a great
hall and makes his address.
The Captain: “Welcome to The Intrepid, Troopers. I am
sorry that your transition here was so sudden, but you will have to deal with
it. This is the finest Star-Battleship in the fleet.
We are now in orbit over the planet ‘Mordant’,
home-world of our enemy, a race of evil aliens known as ‘The Sligs’. You must
have wondered how you came to be on The Campus. Well I can tell you now what
happened.
A few years ago The Sligs invaded and conquered Earth.
All of you were enslaved, but they wiped your memories so that you would not be
aggrieved. Every one of you here was put into cold-storage for future ‘use’.
But we the rebels managed to thwart their plans for you. We ‘kidnapped’ you all
and eventually brought you to The Campus. Now you are ready for the most
important mission in the history of Mankind: to take out The Sligs on their
very home world…”
The Captain outlines our mission. Before long he
releases us and we clamber onto countless space landing-craft. All too soon I
have my helmet on as I run along a wooded, alien plain towards those dreaded
Sligs. Talk about a “Star Ship Trooper”! I wish I’d played those computer games
now. “Shots” are being fired all over the place. The battle lasts for hours.
Must fight this exhaustion and keep going.
Suddenly I’m falling! I land with a heavy bump. There
is a yell. It’s Sarah! All is quiet.
“Over here Sarah!” I shout.
It is evident that we have both failed to see this
crevasse and fallen straight down the thing. I crawl through the shrubbery,
bruised but not broken. And I find Sarah! Her piping voice is unmistakeable.
The battle continues above us as we try to climb back up into the fray.
Then I see something. Further along the crevasse:
looks like a great piece of cloth, with bumps underneath. I point this out to
Sarah. We decide to go down and take a look.
As we sneak round some bushes we see that it is a
whole gathering of cloths. A head appears! It is human!
“Oh My God!” yells Sarah.
Instantly about six heads spring up from beneath the
covers: all women and children.
Child: “Sligs!”
“We ain’t Sligs!” I yell, “We are human.”
They clearly have guns pointed at us.
A woman: “You must be Sligs. Your uniforms…”
Sarah: “You are the Sligs. This is your home
world.”
Same Woman: “Do we look like Sligs?”
Impulsively I free my helmet and remove it.
“Do we look like Sligs?” I ask.
A collective gasp is released by these people.
Another woman: “You fools! This is not
the Slig home world, this is Earth! Oh My God, don’t you see? You’ve been
killing your own people!”
Sarah removes her helmet and speaks: “I’m so, so
sorry. We had no idea. They told us we were invading the Slig home-world.”
I now notice it is quiet above. But further down this
tight little valley I see battle-suits approaching us, in Slig colours.”
“So they are human?” I ask, pointing.
They all nod.
“Sarah, let’s get out of these things, now! We’ve got
a lot of explaining to do.”
As we struggle to get out of our armoured suits, with
the children helping us, the first Woman addresses us: “I’m Eve. Welcome to The
Resistance.”
The soldiers appear.
Eve (to first soldier): “Look, they are human! Will
you raise your visor and show them you are human too? They will not believe me.”
The soldier raises his visor, and the expression on
his face is priceless.
Mission accomplished. For now.
Paul
Butters